ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
It's rum buckets o'clock
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
