My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I think your dad took our porno
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
