At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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