whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
