Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
