Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
