It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
