and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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