im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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