I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
