Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I would ride that face into the sunset
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
