Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize