this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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