Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
