Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
