I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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