Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
