Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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