please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
