I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
