you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
