Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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