there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize