just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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