Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
