Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize
