That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
