omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
