I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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