haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize