We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
