if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
