I heard we made out
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
