Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
