Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
