I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
