He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
