mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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