yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Randomize
