I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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