Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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