I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
