My nipple is on Facebook.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
