oh god the rape fog is back!
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
