So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Randomize
