he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
