hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
They should really pass out barf bags in church
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm gonna fight the coyote
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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