My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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