yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
