I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
