Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Randomize
