i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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