: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
