shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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