The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
