is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
