i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
