I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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