White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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