I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize