I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
