I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
