I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
