How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
