What did we do last night that was yellow?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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