I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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