I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
