I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
