she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
