i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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