I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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