I cockslap morals
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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