i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
