I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
