guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
