the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
