if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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